20 Ways to Teach Kids about Respect (2024)

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I am so sorry it has taken me so long to get back to you. I took the Christmas season off to be present with my family. I’m back in the swing of things now. It is definitely hard with two environments and two sets of expectations – for both you and the kids. It’s hard to feel like you are the tough ones as well. I don’t have a lot of experience with blended families, which I know creates a different dynamic – especially when you are the step dad. Let me just share what comes to mind. As the man of the house, you have an important role as a model. It’s one of the greatest gifts you can offer the kids – love and being an example for them. I believe I have heard that it is great for the biological parent to do much of the discipline in that sense. That doesn’t mean you don’t have a role. Consistency and being on the same page as your spouse – as one that backs her up and implements what she is doing will speak volumes. I wouldn’t let the kids get away with being disrespectful and disobedient in your home – it sounds like that is exactly what you are doing. We use the phrase “Try that Again,” (https://meaningfulmama.com/day-17-tip-try-that-again.html) once to give them an opportunity to change their response to us. It’s been a clutch phrase for us. I would say a swift consequence is appropriate – a privilege taken away, a job given (https://meaningfulmama.com/one-consequence-idea-that-is-working-for-us.html) or whatever you have chosen. We have had a respect issue with one of ours lately, and we are actually having her do a plank for one minute when she responds with disrespect. That helps them focus their energy, get self control and is a deterrent from continued disrespect. You’re in a tough spot when you only get 50% of the teaching. I would encourage you to try and get to their hearts on the matter – explaining your hopes for them. “We love you so much that we can’t allow you to act like that. Imagine if you showed this kind of disrespect to your boss or teacher. It just won’t benefit you in life, so we have to teach you another way so you can thrive and we successful.” Loving them well, showing them grace and yet being firm and consistent is the best you can do for them. Here’s a post on the pre-teen years that might help also: https://meaningfulmama.com/one-consequence-idea-that-is-working-for-us.html. What you are experiencing is pretty darn normal as far as I can see. It’s not just based on your circ*mstances with a blended family. Sounds like you are doing a great job, so thank you for stepping in and loving them like they are your own! You wouldn’t be here asking if you didn’t. I really respect that about you!

Thanks so much. 🙂

Thanks so much. I appreciate it!