The Best Funny Quotes For Sarcastic Women Who Are SO DONE (2024)

As women, we have to deal with a lot of sh*t every day. This ranges from men trying to tell us what we can't do (just shut up already) to people generally pissing us off just by being themselves.

Of course, we can't lose our cool in public—what with the whole "ladylike" thing following us everywhere we go—but we can show them just how much we DON'T care.

My personal favorite is pretending someone doesn't exist when they piss me off; I haven’t figured out how to snap my fingers to make them disappear yet, but I'll get there.

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Another thing I know for a fact women love to do is to keep doing whatever it is that pisses someone else off ... Because we CAN.

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Let's be real for a minute, though: We try to tolerate things, we really do. But if we have to see other people'sannoying faces every single day for a week when we are just NOT in the mood, chances are someone's going to crack (hint: it's me).

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I mean c'mon ... You're telling me you didn't see that sarcastic comment coming? You're lying to yourself, buddy.

So we gathered up our favorite funny (and SUPER sarcastic) quotesbecause honestly, we just don't give a damnanymore.

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If you're searching for thebest quotesand memes to share with the people you love (or just want to feelinspiredyourself) ... look no further! From the sweetestlove quotes,inspirational sayings, andhilarious relationship truths, we've got you covered.

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HELLO is anyone home?

"Stupid people are like glow sticks. I want to snap them and shake the sh*t out of them until the light comes on." -Unknown

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Seriously. OVER IT.

Whatever.

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Save your breath.

Shhh. No one cares.

Yeah, I know it's gonna happen.

I take super hot showers to practice burning in hell.

Haters gonna hate.

It's okay if you don't like me. Not everyone has perfect taste.

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Seriously. I'm joking. Or am I?

My level of sarcasm has gotten to the point to where I don't even know if I'm kidding or not.

I'm sorry, did I roll my eyes?

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

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JUUUUUUST kidding! (Kind of).

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.

TRUTH!

I love sarcasm. It's like punching people in the face. But with words.

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UGH. Just go away.

Ew, people.

Nope. Not me.

I googled "who gives a f*ck?" My name wasn't in the search results.

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I MUST be in it.

Excuse me, which level of hell is this?

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Meh. There are worse things.

I realize my level of weirdness is above the national average, but I'm okay with that.

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Did you say something?

If your phone doesn't ring, it's me.

Really. It really does work that way.

The less I care, the happier I am.

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Thank you very much.

"Row row row your boat gently the f*ck away from me." -Unknown

It's not me, it's you.

"Listen, I'm a nice person. So if I'm I bitch to you, you need to ask yourself why." -Unknown

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Honestly, it's better you heard it from me.

"I'm not a bitch. I'm a teller of unfortunate truths." -Unknown

EXCUSE ME, I'm a bitch on a mission.

"Sometimes I get road rage walking behind people in the grocery store." -Unknown

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That's why I love warm weather so much.

"'Go to Hell.'Oh honey, where do you think I came from?" -Unknown

And everyone knows that Mondays suck.

"I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life." -Unknown

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Don't hold your breath.

"If you're waiting for me to give a sh*t, you better pack a lunch. It's going to be a while." -Unknown

I avoided eye contact with you for a reason.

"It's a beautiful day to leave me alone." -Unknown

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It's best not to sugar coat things.

"I am the friend you have to explain to your other friends before they meet me." -Unknown

I hope you got the message.

"An apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough." -Unknown

Sorry I'm not sorry.

'I'm 97% sureyou don't like me, but I'm 100% sure I don't care." -Unknown

I'm entirely sure I'll get survive though.

"You don't like me? That's a shame. I'll need a few minutes to recover from the tragedy." -Unknown

I'm just not a people person and I'm OK with that.

"Sometimes I wish I were a nicer personbut then I laugh and continue my day." -Unknown

Someone should have told you sooner.

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew." -Uknown

No judging allowed. You know you feel this way too.

Thou shall not judge because thou has F*cked up before too.

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